Hi, guys —
I'm an 18-year-old male who attends the Christ
church in New Zealand.
I'm not religious, but just in case there
is a Heaven and Hell, I want to know if God
will send me to Hell for being gay.
I suppose I agree with almost all the Christian
beliefs, except the gay part. I am gay and
I'm happy to admit it. I feel that God wants
me to be this way and would be fine with this
when the end time comes.
I don't attend church because I believe God, (I use this term in a loose sense), would
rather see me happy and doing what I feel is
right. I would rather have a good time at a
party and spend my Sunday recovering from
it, than sitting in a church.
I spend most of my time helping people. I'm
a telephone councilor who works with disabled
people. I feel like after a long week of helping
others, the weekend can't be spent on anyone
but me, because it's pretty much the only me
time I get. That said:
- Would God send me to Hell for being
gay and not going to church even though
I agree with most Christian values and
I spend most of my time helping others?
As a non-religious Christian, will God send me to Hell for being gay and not going to church? }
First of all, God loves you
and wants you to be saved and to
come to a knowledge of the truth.
We all are born with a need to be
saved. We are born into a condition
of separation from God that prevents
us from having eternal life. The
process of salvation involves coming
to know the truth, including our
sins, then repenting of our sins,
being baptized, and then loving Christ
above all in return. Loving Christ
in return includes obeying his commandments
and those laid down by his Bride,
the Church. It also means remaining
in communion with Him, that is to
say, uniting ourselves to Him by
receiving Holy Communion in church
and maintaining a relationship with
Having same-sex attraction, in and
of itself, does not send you to Hell.
Acting on it, however, is morally
wrong, and for those who have established
a saving relationship with God, if
it is done knowing it is wrong and
deliberately, freely, and willfully;
it will cut them off from eternal
It's an abuse of the sexual faculty
that damages our beings. God knows
what's best for us, so He's revealed
to us that this behavior is wrong.
We'd do well to heed his warnings — He
is the Creator of the Universe and
knows what he's talking about.
What you feel is not
so important as what God has objectively
- You could feel that
it is OK to not report income on
your tax return but it wouldn't make
- You could feel that
it is OK to drive at high speeds
but when you have an accident it
will prove you wrong.
- A pedophile
or sociopath may not feel that
what he is doing is wrong, but it
The truth is not based on feelings.
Whether homosexual acts are wrong
or not is based on divine revelation: the Holy Scriptures interpreted
in the context of Holy Tradition.
I believe God, (I use this term in a loose sense), would
rather see me happy . . .
- On what do you base this?
- By this
do you mean, that God wants you to get
what you want; that He wants
you to satisfy your own pleasures?
- What kind of God is that, really?
- Do you think that God the Father
wanted Christ to be happy by
sending him to die on the Cross for
- Do you think that
when you were a baby and you were
crying and fussy that God wanted
your parents to be happy than to
sacrifice their happiness to take
care of you?
- Are you glad that heroes
didn't do what made them happy, but
what was right?
The time for happiness is the life
to come. In this life, we need to
fight selfishness and pride, which
are the enemy of salvation. I guarantee
you if you pursue solely what makes
you happy, you will not
be saved. That is nothing but selfishness.
He who seeks his life will
lose it, and he who loses his
life for my sake will save it.
Seek what makes God happy which,
in the end, will make you happy.
Same-sex attraction is admittedly
a very difficult issue, especially
in this age. It's very hard to be
chaste in our sex-drenched culture.
All the more heroic an act it is.
To be a little technical here, the
Church does not condemn anyone for being anything.
Our being is created by God and is
good. Nor does She (the Church) fault people for feeling sinful
things, if they are not deliberately
entertained. Feelings are sometimes
not of our own choosing. What pertains
to our eternal salvation is what
we choose to do: what we decide and
how we act.
Sin, like charity, is
in the will and is borne out by our
What I find interesting is that two
essential things that keep us
in God's grace, you have rejected.
The first is a respect for God
by attending Sunday Mass, as Christ
and His Church tells us is a minimum
for maintaining our relationship
with God, and a respect for self
and others, regarding human sexuality.
In the olden days it was said
that if a person was faithful
to attending Mass and to chastity
their foundation for he whole
of Christian life was set. Without
these two building blocks it's
impossible to please God. There's
a lot of wisdom to this.
I would suggest this: You are using
language of the world when you use
the word gay or homosexual as a noun
to label one's self or someone else.
The word homosexual in the word of
God through Church teaching is an
adjective describing acts. It could
also describe feelings, but human
persons, by their nature and design
by God, are sexual creatures ordered
to the opposite sex for the purpose
of union and procreation. Any deviancy
from this when it comes to feelings
or attractions is due to sin, original
sin, and possibly sin added to
that perpetrated on a person from
sin makes us all born with imperfections
and disorders of some degree unique
to ourselves, that does not give
us any right to act upon them. Someone
who might be born with a propensity
to alcoholism, for example, should
never freely succumb to getting drunk; or bipolarism should try not to give into
the impulses of self destruction.
In this sense, the self needs to
be disciplined according to what
is properly ordered according to
our nature as humans, which is the
true and the good. Homosexual acts
are unnatural, abusive to the self, and
to others and should never be freely
acted upon regardless of any feelings
or attractions that pull an individual
in this direction.
- Is living according to God's will
and against the disordered desires
of the flesh easy?
By our own natural
power it's virtually impossible;
but with God's help it is both possible
and commanded. With faith and a willingness
to obey God rather than self, God's
grace can enable proper self-denial
and consequent self-fulfillment.
His grace and our resolute cooperation
is the winning combination of conquering
our unruly flesh with all of its
disordered desires; and being faithful
to God is the only way to true peace.
If you are not faithful to attending
Mass each week and going to Confession
whenever you fall, you cannot even
begin the battle against sin and
evil. I would suggest to anyone, that
a commitment to Mass attendance,
chastity, and Confession, as needed,
are absolutely necessary for spiritual
health. Rearranging one's heart
and life to attain this lifestyle
is job number one.
Please feel free to come back with
Let me make a bit of a clarification
on my answer about the pursuit of
The desire for happiness is desire
we were created with. All human beings
desire to be happy and there is nothing
wrong with this. In fact, it drives
us to Heaven, the ultimate in happiness,
I don't want to give the impression
that desiring happiness is bad.
Pursuing happiness in this life is
not necessarily wrong, either. However,
due to the fall of Adam, we have
a natural tendency to pursue happiness
the wrong way. Our desires are disordered
and we often end up harming ourselves
in our pursuit of happiness in this
What I am specifically addressing
however is the erroneous idea that
the morality of an action — whether
it is right or wrong — can
be determined by how happy it makes
If something makes us happy,
we judge it good; if it makes us
unhappy, it is bad.
take too much thinking to realize
that this is a failure as a philosophy,
as many times acts that lead us to
sadness are the most morally virtuous
Then there is the confusion between
pleasure and happiness. I sense you're
trying to define homosexual acts
as good because they bring pleasure
but pleasurable acts can ultimately
lead to unhappiness. Sex addiction
or adulterous relationships, for
The point is, the moral value of
an action is based neither on the
pleasure nor the happiness it produces,
but on divine revelation (or natural
God does not send anyone to Hell.
People choose Hell, by choosing their
own will over God's.
God's will is made known in the natural
law — what human beings have
seen as moral according to human
nature — and in Revelation (where He reiterated natural law
in the Ten Commandments,
so that we would be assured of His
will). Natural law is God's plan
If you want to go to be with God,
then you should follow His plan.
Homosexual actions are inherently
against nature: unhealthy, infertile,
impermanent. They are not the life-giving union of persons that God
You are a man, not a gay. You
should ask yourself why you have
same-sex attraction. It is not sin,
but it has real causes, and deep
ones. I would hate to see you caught
in the loneliness and destructiveness
of the gay lifestyle so young. All
you need to do now is stop guessing
and ask God:
What do you want me to do,
He will lead you and guide you, because
He loves you . . . as a Father, as a
Brother, as a Friend, even as the
Spouse of your soul.
Hi, guys —
I see your points, but I don't see
why my sexual orientation would be
a problem. I've been in a committed
homosexual relationship for two years
and we are both very happy with each
other and who we are. One of you
- Why I think God wouldn't mind
if I don't go to Mass each week
and why I think he wants me to
just be happy?
I think that God would rather me
live my life to the full . . . enjoying
every moment as it comes.
I freely do what I want, when I want,
but within reason. If it impacts
another person's life then I'm
not going to do that action. I spend fifty
hours a week helping others and,
by the time I get home, I'm ready
just to lay on my couch with my partner
and a cup of tea. When the weekend
I take that time for myself to let
loose. I can't put everyone else
before me without taking care of
myself first. That's why I feel, as long as I live,
God wants me to be happy. He has given me this great
job, and great life and I feel he
wants me to spend my weekends the
way I spend them.
In addition, I did not choose to
be gay; it was the way I was born.
An alcoholic was not born a alcoholic,
therefore he is able to make the
decision to stop. Homosexuality was
described by someone as a gift
from God. I don't understand
how its a gift, because everywhere
I go I get judged for being gay.
I would not change my life for anything.
I'm happy with what, and who, I am.
- When my judgment comes, I would
clearly choose Heaven over Hell,
but would I be let in, after a
devotion to helping others my
- Would I be sent to Hell for
my sexuality and not attending
I accept God into my heart each
day. When I'm waiting at the bus
stop I have a wee chat with Him.
When I lie in bed I chat with Him.
My bind with God is there, my love
for Him is there, and He knows that.
I think in today's world, people's
lives are pretty non-stop. I think
God can see that and as long as you
always chat with Him and let Him
know what's going on, He will would
be fine with that. Maybe my God is
a little different than everyone
else's God. In my mind:
- God just
wants you to chat when you can
- Let Him know how life is and, most of
- He just wants you to know, He is
with you, where ever you are.
- Isn't this what God is meant
Sometimes I just want to escape
from my life, travel to another country
and start fresh, have a brand new
life with just me and God, but it's
just not possible.
None of us are going to judge you,
but you have an obligation to judge
yourself, and not according to your
rules, but according to Christ's
teachings through His Body, the Church.
In a nutshell, it seems you're rationalizing
this by listing the good things you
do. If Mother Teresa, with all of
her wonderful charitable work, decided
freely and knowingly to blow off
Mass for no good reason or freely
engage in unchaste activity — and
not repent — she would not
We cannot make
our own rules, but must live according
to the dictates of Christ. If you
don't understand why homosexual acts
violate our human nature and are
degrading to us, you should trust
God and His Word. Homosexual acts
are called an abomination in the
Old Testament and depraved in the
You are not gay or a
homosexual, you are a human being.
A person. One that God loves infinitely.
I suggest you rid yourself of unnecessary
and demeaning labels that pigeonhole
you as being less than you really
are. When it comes to our salvation,
God's love for us is a given; the
only question is,
- How do we respond
to that love?
- Do we decide to follow our disordered
desires or do we try our best
(with God's grace) to do His will?
If no one else has suggested this
yet, check out Courage.
"If you love me, keep my commandments." (John 14:15)