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Jenieve Carmen Tesoro wrote:

Hi guys,

I’d like your advice or some suggestions on a situation I have. I fell in love with a guy who is a Preacher in a Pentecostal church. I love him very much and we have been together for almost a year. Nevertheless, he recently ended our relationship because of our religious differences. It’s hard for me to let him go because I’m fully attached to him. He is not telling me to convert to his religion but because of some of his statements like,

You know you cannot go to your church, Right?

It somehow tells me he wants me to read between the lines. We are getting old and I am also looking for someone who I can spend the rest of my life with. I ask my mom about this. Mom has nothing against his religion because he likes that guy for me.

I also wanted to ask:

  • If I decided to convert to his church, is there any exemption?

like not wearing skirts or very long hair. It’s already almost a week, but I can’t move on. I still love him, but he has to make a decision.

  • If I love him, should I follow him?

He cannot leave his church as well because of his Dad, who passed away, is a Pastor. They have church at home, and most probably he will be the one to continue where his father left off.

Your response would be highly appreciated.

Jenieve

  { If I love this man, should I follow him, even if he has this attitude toward my faith? }

Mike replied:

Dear Jenieve,

No person who we are dating should ever imply such a coercive statement like:

You know you cannot go to your church, Right?

If this man loves you for who you truly are, he should accept you for what you truly believe, especially seeing he is a preacher of the Gospel. He should know this. Christians believe in free will; we are not radical Muslims.

A statement like this implies a domineering personality where he, in the future, will tell you where to go and what you can, or cannot, believe. This is not love in the truest sense.

If you are a faithful Catholic, his attitude as a Pentecostal minister, would not be accepted very well by the Church.

You said:
I also wanted to ask:

  • If I decided to convert to his church, is there any exemption?

like not wearing skirts or very long hair. It’s already almost a week, but I can’t move on. I still love him, but he has to make a decision.

I don't understand what you are trying to ask. If you leave the Catholic faith and join his congregation, the assumption is that you have chosen to believe in what Pentecostals believe and deny what Catholics believe.

You can't believe both faiths because each faith has a different set of beliefs. For that same reason, you could not receive Holy Communion in a Catholic Church because there is no Common Union with what you would believe as a Pentecostal and what we believe as Catholics.

To have a valid, sacramental marriage in the Church, that bonds the two of you for life, he would have to agree to be a witness to your promise of raising your children in the Catholic faith.

This seems dubious.

He probably knows this or has found this out which is why he ended the relationship. As my colleague, Bob would say,

Cut the bait and start looking for another man.

If you have had sexual relations outside of marriage with him, this may be why you appear to be emotionally in love with him, because as a former colleague, Mary Ann has said, we are physiologically made to emotionally bond with those who we are very intimate with. Make a few visits to an Adoration Chapel and wait for the Lord to speak to you silently.

Right now, it's best to stay single and look for another mate. For starters, check out various local Catholic parishes in your area and find out what ministries they have that you like and have men your age in them. : )

I hope this helps,

Mike

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