Eager Evan wrote:

Hi, guys —

I'm 17 and I want to have sex.

  • Am I able to have sex or should I wait until Marriage?


  { As a 17-year-old teenager, am I able to have sex or should I wait until Marriage? }

Bob replied:

Evan —

Wait until marriage. Sex outside of marriage is wrong and will hurt your relationship with God . . . and others; just don't do it. Mortal sin can suck all the grace out of your soul and ultimately kill it.

Of course wanting to experience it is natural, but there is an appropriate context for everything. Sex is a procreative impulse. It is part of our sexual reproductive drive and the parts of our bodies involved are made for reproducing.

Just like hunger is natural for feeding our bodies with nutrition, so the sex drive is natural for reproduction. God designed it that way but the product of reproduction is children, and children are to be born and raised into loving homes with parents that are committed to each other permanently. God designed the covenant of marriage to insure that His children would be afforded loving homes and guidance. When you act out your sexual desires outside of marriage you don't honor God's design or plan and perform acts which are intended to be life giving and loving in a purely selfish way. Fornication tries to thwart procreation by artificial contraception and ultimately abortion, a grave sin of essentially akin to murder by killing an innocent life, for selfish reasons. Even couples who say they would never abort don't have a marital commitment to each other, so the children born to them are likely to have broken homes and unstable environments. It is not God's design and a poor way to start parenting.

Don't abuse the gift. Wait until the right person you are ready to marry comes along and create a beautiful loving life together . . . sharing sexual intimacy for the right reasons.

You can wait. It's not impossible despite what the culture tells you. God can give you the strength.



Evan replied:

  • What if I use a condom, I don't get her pregnant, and she's on birth control?


Mike replied:


Sexual intimacy and the conjugal embrace is intended to bring forth new life between one man and one woman.

Using a condom is saying that you don't want to make a marital, lifetime commitment but are just seeking pleasure.

Read Bob's answer again.

The same is true with her birth control but more importantly, women's birth control can do serious damage to the physiology of any woman taking it. Physiology is a subset of Biology that scientifically explains how living organisms interact with other living organisms.

In this case, how destructive pills effect female physiology and the interaction with male physiology.


Paul replied:

Evan —

No question, wait until after marriage.

Not only is premarital sex the matter of mortal sin, but it creates an ongoing union on the natural level with someone whom, chances are, you will not want to spend your life with.

Premarital sex denigrates future marriage. Those with a healthy conscience will always regret not waiting to give their whole and entire self exclusively to their future spouse.



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