Hi, guys —
I was raised Methodist. In college, I met my husband and
became pregnant after knowing him only 6 weeks. We booked
a wedding date and had a large wedding with many bridesmaids.
We really put on a show. We had our first child months
After two years, we divorced. After struggling as a single
mom, we remarried at a Justice of the Peace. We had two
more children and kept very busy. Then, I went through
RCIA because his family is Catholic and he was very disinterested
in the Methodist church. I thought it might make him participate
more. I fell in love with the Catholic church and felt
I finally found the truth.
Our marriage had to be blessed in order for me to become
Catholic, even though I thought it was ridiculous.
In the years since, I have come to understand and cling
to the Church even more. I have worked so hard to read,
pray, and go to counseling to help our marriage. It has
felt miserable and difficult from the start. He had a problem
with pornography and we went through a financial meltdown.
He has no spirituality and doesn't pray. He does go to Mass
with us but, if I didn't go, he wouldn't.
For about 12 years, he never told me or our children he
loved us, nor showed affection.
We seemed to be a huge burden to him.
I turned to another man and was unfaithful. He knows about
this and we have once again tried to heal our relationship. I pray,
read, and try to talk to him. He is still angry, resentful,
and thinks he has done nothing wrong. I need help.
I want a holy marriage and family. I am even open to more
children, but everyday of this 17.5 year marriage has been
a struggle. We are opposing forces. I feel like I have
tried everything while he sits and gripes. He makes our
home a negative place and brings the world in with him
to dump on us.
I feel like I want a divorce but don't want that for my
- If I do go forward with a divorce, are there any grounds
for an annulment?
I am a very confused Catholic.
Any advice would be appreciated.