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DesiringBoth wrote:

Dear AskACatholic team,


I was doing a Google search trying to find a web site where I could Ask A Catholic Apologist a question when I came upon your web site.

I am happily married with my wife and we have two children. She gave birth, not too long ago, to a beautiful baby girl five months ago. Me and my wife have not been intimate since about three months before she gave birth. My wife did not have a natural birth but had a (C) Caesarean section. It took a while for her to recover and she still has some pain.

My wife and I want more children but since she had a C section it will be very hard on her if we got pregnant again. We want to wait a bit until we start having children again. We both looked into Natural Family Planning (NFP) which has been approved by the Church but she cannot track her period due to breast feeding our child. She wants to be intimate but I told her we cannot use contraception as it is against Church teaching.

She wanted me to put out during intimate times instead of having me put my seed in her.
I was not to sure about this so I wanted to Ask An Apologist that can better help me out with some of these questions.

  • For better clarification, what is allowed by the Church?
  • Any other alternatives than NFP?
  • What should my wife and I talk about when she wants to be intimate?

Thank you and God Bless!


  { What is allowed so we can be both an intimate and faithful couple and are there NFP alternatives? }

Paul replied:

Dear DesiringBoth,

Your desire to space your children under the circumstances is fine. You are correct in stating that contraception is not a moral option."Pulling out to spill one's seed elsewhere other than one's wife reproductive tract is a form of contraception and is also an act that violates natural law and conjugal love.

I have two things to add. There are several different methods of Natural Family Planning, not one. There is:

  • the Billings method
  • the Creighton model
  • the Sympto-thermal method, and
  • the Marqutte method, to name a few.

Every couple seeking to legitimately space children should look into whichever one may be best for them. They can be very effective if done right. Also, when a woman is regularly breast feeding a baby, there is a hormone in her body that often disables another pregnancy from occurring in the sexually active couple. It may not be foolproof, but this is nature's way of spacing children and why women that regularly breast feed rarely have children within three years of each other.

For more in depth information go to



DesiringBoth replied:


That was extremely helpful Paul. I will speak to my wife about this so that we may apply some research.

May the peace and love of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you always!


Paul replied:

No problem.

Thanks for writing.


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