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Wondering Wendy wrote:

Hi, guys —

  • I'm wondering why people pray to Mary when they, or someone they love, is dying?
  • Why do they pray to her when they are grieving or sad?
  • What is it about her that makes her someone to pray to in all these instances?

Thank you,


  { What is it about Mary that people pray to her when a loved one is dying and the family is grieving? }

Paul replied:

Dear Wendy,

Here's one way to look at it. In the order of nature, God designed the family to be father, mother, and older and younger siblings. Let's say the father is the only one that makes money for the family. if you seek a favor from your father, you might want to get the support of your siblings first to help you, especially your older ones, and you certainly have an advocate in your mother.

In the order of grace, similar principles apply. Asking saints who are your older brothers and sisters in Christ to intercede for you before the throne of God can be helpful, since they now share in His grace and glory in Heaven, however, asking Mary's intercession, the Queen of all saints, is all the more powerful.

She is one with her Son, as she was on Earth. Jesus did not say, No to His mother's request at the wedding at Cana. (John 2:1-12) There's no reason to think that Mary's powerful intercessory role for us is any different now.



Bob replied:


  • When you are hurting who do you want close?
  • Those that love you and care about your trials, right?
    Also, someone with empathy.
  • Who does that better than your mom?

Mary is our mother. She loves us and she really gets the whole suffering thing. Plus, she actually likes us, and wants us to be in Heaven with our Heavenly family which God has given to us. (If you don’t know about Mary's spiritual motherhood you need to find out.)

I pray to Mary all the time because I’m always in need of motherly love, especially when I’m facing hard times. Mary suffered alongside Jesus when He was tortured and murdered, and knows what intense suffering feels like. She was part of it. What would you find more difficult:

  • being beaten and killed or
  • watching it happen to your child?

Because of her closeness with Jesus, and how their two hearts are so connected, she is the best prayer advocate you could ever want.


Bob Kirby

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